HASH SHIT MONDAY 14TH JULY
VENUE VARKIZA BEACH
HARE HAMISH MCTAVISH ESQ
SCRIBE FIERY TW*T
Well done Hamish! Another popular spot for our Hash start point as half the population of central Athens had descended on Varkiza beach to cool off with an early evening swim…..and as much as Hamish advised us people would be packing up soon, all we saw were more and more cars pulling up and disgorging irregular sized and shaped Athenians with their plastic blow up accessories in tow. Problem was that we were expecting some Virgin Hashers too so I was having to peer closely into all the vehicles and smile in a welcoming manner in case they meant to join us…..I got a few strange looks back I can tell you!
Never mind soon we gave up caring and enough of the Athens Hash stalwarts had appeared to make Hamish stop worrying about his food going to waste.
Hamish appointed a ‘running Hare’ Cook the Fook, as Mr McTavish would of course not actually be doing his own Hash, as he had salads to arrange and meat to tenderize and champagne to cool….well some poor bugger has all the hard jobs eh?
Floppy Dick called us to order and we said hello in a refined and restrained manner to our Hash virgin Paul and his family Heidi, Andreas and Sophia. We then set off on blue along the road and in the traffic fumes of the main drag from Varkiza to Vari….that is why we had chosen the lovely venue of the beach so we could run in the traffic…… luckily we soon turned off into the back streets of Vari and had an opportunity to assess the building regulations and planning permissions of numerous sites under construction…including one poor chap who had had his dream home brought to a standstill as the archaeologists had moved in to his foundations and looked set for the long and careful examination of the ancient find that was now his building plot….
Trail was on the whole well marked and checks abounded….but no Falsies…it is too much to ask of Hamish’s knees…. Floppy Dick, FT and virgin Paul did most of the checking. Men-in-Gitis ran a bit and then settled down for a nice chat with Mad Dog. Cook the Fook made sure Stress Cow and Baron Buggerall kept coming in the right direction even though they were having an animated conversation and BB tight shorts slow him down a bit…..
5 checks on and the road disappeared under the coast highway allowing us safe access back to the beach and a quick jog ON INN to the cars where Hamish and Bride of Derekula awaited us and the walkers Doggy Style, Clitoria MBE and her step father sauntered up. We just needed to grab the few swimming hashers to get the circle on the go, so Floppy rounded them up, called the circle to order and asked Mad Dog to be stand in RA for the evening. A tight circle followed with Mad Dog holding back well when taunted with …’give us a joke then’ ….apparently his speech as father of the bride had had extensive jokes and wedding guests wanted to relive the moment…or moments….or 40 minutes of hilarity….
We ignored the Virgin as per new MMC motion and I got the short end of the stick as Cthe F decided I needed to have a beer shower to celebrate my Hashing Birthday….which will officially be celebrated at the SPLASH HASH on Saturday 19th July www.goodtimes.gr/splash for details (but please tell us you are coming otherwise you will have to bring your own beer and goat ok?). I was then given the FRB helmet but had to give it to Stress Cow as she WANTED IT…NOW!!! We never stand in the way when she sounds like that….but we insisted she wore it backwards as she is always at the back…..
We also celebrated Bastille Day as we had a rousing chorus of OU E LE PAPIER led by Clitoria MBE as stand in Song Meister as Scarlet Pimperknickers was again unable to make the hash……has Clit buried him somewhere and just keeps saying he is off in Eastern Europe….I think we should get Oxymoron on the scent and check if he has been spotted at the airport…..I know Oxy spends hours watching recordings in his office…..just been informed it is not cctv coverage of the airport and I don’t think Scarlet is the type to appear in THAT type of film.
So to the ON ON and Hamish’s food….enjoyed by all AND we convinced him not to light the bbq with the crowds watching.
Oh and Cook the Fook being the County Durham gentleman that he is offered to Hare next week’s run so we are ON ON next Monday starting SYNGROU PARK.