I have been in Greece nearly 20 years and I have never, ever , ever been able to get into this site or museum EVER,. So I was pretty excited when Fair Cop announced the venue as the temple of Artemis at Ancient Vavron.

 Finally I would see the temple up close, perhaps prance among the columns re-enacting the special rights of the virgins, young girls left here by their families at a tender age to learn the mysteries of the Goddess Artemis…….. don’t they always tell you to read the small print….all we got was the dusty rubbish strewn car park next to the stinky swamp.


And what better to bring out a huge number of hashers and add ons, of family members, visitors and returnees, than a hash…followed by a hash birthday bash at a true hasher venue of another hasher’s house a long way from your own neighbours and expensive upholstery…..good on you Wet Dream for allowing us all round and no one had to be washed down in the yard before being let in….oops forgot and went straight on to the party….we did have a trail and a circle first though so lets get back to basics…..


There were too many hashers around to name you all…so I will leave everyone out this week and just go solipsist on you….look it up you bastards,….bit of book learning will  do you good.


So this is the tale of MY HASH TRAIL


I had a seriously good run, despite no one calling ON ON, and  Fair Cop deciding that 2 circles with no connection would make a nice new designer hash, just the thing for the Spring season.

 First the trail circled left through what would normally have been a swamp of enormous and slimy proportions, but which was mainly dried up cart ruts this year. Then the trail became invisible for a few kilometres before it joined up with the short trail for slow runners and circled right up the mountain flank through flower filled meadows and down to the beach beer stop…..I am not daft so handed out the beers to less well disciplined hashers and set off for home, as I knew the area well. A nice ON INN along the coast brought me back to the cars in a bit of a breathless heap but you need to push yourself sometimes….especially if you have Bookmaker on your tail!


Enter the chorus for the finale of the circle….I decided to be beer bitch for the day to try and keep myself occupied and so have  less time  to be mouthing obscenities and screeching at the GM…..my parents were visiting so I was on best behaviour!!


We had four virgins, Andre the Russian, Yiourk the German, and two rather spiffing types from Surrey with plums in their mouths….family of Black Mamba and Prickly Bush.


We had many a returnee in the shape and form of mum and dad FT, Spanish Fly, Athanasios nice Greek chap good runner, Rimjob, Love Bug and Lester and finally Snowjob.cum   who will be needing to think of a career change with the global warming.


We were all enjoying the happy go lucky ness of circledom when suddenly a heavenly body appeared… the circle collapsed into hysterics at the sight of a smartly oiled body in the tightest and smallest pair of speedos ever seen on a human pregnant man…about 8 months gone and totally oblivious to our mirth with his headphones clamped on he strutted past ……come back KUM KWIK all is forgiven…. Hope someone captured him for posterity….


Many a DIO was quaffed for many a non reason and Bookmaker presented the Athens HHH with a new toilet seat so the return of the hash shit in Myconos will be much awaited.


We sang Hashy Birthday for no less than 4 of our hashers gaining a year but other than Budwanker and Wet Dream I can’t remember who they were….go on sack me I dare you….not like I  enjoy being reminded of my alcohol induced alzheimers.


Anyway we then went to Fair Cop/ Wet Dream abode and ate the best ever pork pies made by Fook The Cook….orders by Tuesday for Saturday deliveries.


ON ON TO MYCONOS…..god help them!