SCRIBE Fiery Tw*t




So, all you Grecophiles will recognise that the Athens Hash was out running to celebrate Greek Independence Day and to forget the humiliation of the Greek National team, who were walloped by the Turks the night before 4:1 and walloped even harder by each other on the stands as rivals Panathanaikos and Olympiakos forgot to bury their differences for the night and beat the shit out of each other, while the players had a right slanging match on the pitch and the coach swore at everyone.


Oh well, we can’t always be European Champions, can we and at least the 300 Spartans still won this time round at Thermopylae according to Hollywood.


Covered all the cultural stuff then and back to the Hash.


We had a visitor from Saudi called Alice and we enjoyed losing him lots of times so we could all shout’ Alice, Alice Where/Who the Fuck is Alice!’….it wore a bit thin by the last falsie tho’


We also had returnees Ram Pants and Cocks 'n Balls visiting for some sunshine from snowy UK and looking very sprightly they were too.


Despite the fact we had sprung forward an hour overnight the majority of hashers made it around the right time and Polli had set a marvellous trail for the 1st day of Spring and generally did an excellent job of getting us round, other than insisting we looked at the bloody flowers….what is this about our camera happy pair Polli and Maddog,? How come they seem more interested in the flora than the hash Fauna with plenty of legs and arses on offer on the trail?


Polli had set a number of crafty Fs and FRBs decided it was time for our GM Budwanker to get to see an F or two, as he has been known to be a bit slow at the back and has often missed out on the jollity of seeing an F and being able to scream FUCK THE HARE and wing his way back up or downhill. We had to wait around a bit and wished we had brought the cards for a shuffle to pass the time crouched in a huddle behind any available cover but he eventually appeared and the pained expression on his face was reward enough for all of the cackling FRBs


Long sections of track, where we opened our legs, hearts and souls were followed by slippery gullies sure to get a bagful of flying club members. Most of the way FRBs were Bookmaker, Up the Bumper, Scarlet Pimp and yet to be named Derek who does very well considering he is a Geordie so has been marinated in Newcastle Brown from infancy…..or maybe that’s why he does so well??


We were also treated to a strange sight of Fair Cop regressing to his toddler days and making like an airplane with his arms and imitating spitfire noises as he ran past the puddles….reasons behind this behaviour are now on the MIT research grant list…..


Finally we noted the ON INN and saw Maddog way up on the mountainside snapping shots of us as we swung our way home to the circle….bit strange him being there as he was not at the start, so he was the first noted TCB of the day…(Time Challenged Bastard) of which there were more awaiting us at the circle.


So circletime….are we all sitting comfortably?...then I will be begin….Once Upon a Time AHHH decided to allow Budwanker the pleasure of calling us to order so that we could be astounded by Fair Cop’s banter and Budwanker’s wit as they called out hashers in traditional order for humiliation.


Hare appraisal for Polli

FRB award for Scarlet Pimp

Visitor and Returnees for Alice, RamPants and CnBs

Memorial whinging for FT

Non Singing for Scarlet Pimp our Song Meister

Late arrival for the TCBs including Lean Over, and Rim Job on crutches (no excuse as it is only one injured leg so he could have hopped round) Maddog and Doggie Style


And the PIECE DE RESISTANCE the naming of our POLLI, done in original full hash style, which included lesbian fondling by Clitoria and ice bucket and funnel and extra fun of egg and flour to ensure she had to go home before the taverna to change.


We welcome with open arms and full chunder our latest member




I am accepting her  a special sort of Twat and was particularly interested to see the suggested name came from her hubby BLACK MAMBA, who presumeably has intimate knowledge of her bush ……..


ON ON to April Fool’s Day Hash Care of UP THE BUMPER