Playboy 2 had arranged the most beautiful day for scrambling up and down mountains, so good in fact that virgins, returnees and veteran hashers flocked from miles around in order to partake of the day's (mis)adventures. Camel Toe and Panos (he missed out on the ceremonies bonanza of the Poros weekend and is in desperate need of a christening hint, hint) had set off up the mountainside the night before and used up 4 kilos of flour setting the trial and returned looking like they'd had a fight in the middle of a thorn bush.

We started the Hash at the foot of the mountain, and Camel Toe commented, "Oh, it goes much higher - you can't see the top from here." The runners set off up the gravely mountainside through the scratchy brambles, past delicate pink cyclamen and big yellow butterflies. Wildlife was abundant with several tortoises being spotted, there was one adult, one baby and one dead tortoise - but whether it was dead before the alleged mishandling by Ratarsed is a subject for speculation. Up, up, up we went. Mountain Goat joked, "this is your gulf war training!" The scree turned to solid rock as we did a little rock-climbing up a tremendous Falsie. But the panoramic view was worth the climb! Co-Hare Camel Toe had bravely followed the leading runners up the rock all the way to the top. The trail was marked by a faint, misty blue that had been partially washed away by rain. At the real summit we saw a t-shirt exchange mark, but only a few faithfuls did the deed. Ratarsed looked well supported in his new white sports bra and Flowery Twat flew free. After the treacherous descent we went along a narrow ravine. I (DB) was travelling between two groups, so I hurried to catch up. I could see Ratarsed bobbing along far ahead, then suddenly I was alone and out of earshot. I made it out of the ravine and went off trail. The locals down in the town were helpful when I asked if they'd seen the Trelloi Xenoi (crazy foreigners). They were eager to point out the right way to go, even if they hadn't seen any Hashers, which is probably why I got hopelessly lost. Frontrunning bastard was Chocolate 4skin who arrived back after an hour with most other people trailing in half an hour later, notably Pink Jenny, Nikos, Dwarf Blower and Panos (yes, the hare) who all got lost.

The walkers set off rather sleepily, and ambled gently up the hill admiring the views over the bay to Aegina and enjoying the sights and smells of the country air, yes, there was lots of goat- and cow - crap lining the "path". Slasher - a fine man who asked me whether I (Dr D) was still at school - had a trail in mind but a coup led by Oxymoron took over, insisted they turn back and then take a more well-defined path in a different direction leading past a rubbish tip and a series of bee-hives. I can now state for the record that bees are somewhat attracted to the brightly coloured Poros weekend t-shirts.

Dr Dildo had to blow the hash horn calling the hashers to the circle, Dwarf Blower having blown so much the night before that she was all out of puff. The first DIOs were the hares, Panos receiving his Virgin Hare T-shirt. Next were the virgins Nikos, Carol, Valerie, Jamie (from VIRGINia, no less) and Gabrielle. Gabrielle had to go back in straight away when it was discovered she wasn't actually a virgin at all (where was the checker?) but a returnee along with Anton and yes, finally, Preston Pete (Aleyarse), resplendent in pink shorts, orange and yellow trainers and only a week late for the Poros weekend after a catalogue of ferry-missing and motorbike breakdown disasters. Various finds had been made on the run, a holy gourd was brought back and worn as a codpiece by Gobbler. There was also gold in them there hills, in the form of a bracelet, falsely claimed by Flowery Twat who bared all AGAIN during the swapping back of t-shirts. She also stamped on Panos's hat because he wore it in the circle, but forgot to remove her own (despite removing several other items of clothing during the course of the afternoon). A fond fuck-off farewell was said to Can't Get Laid. Chocolate 4skin (he lost the frog award!!!!!) Flutterby (too quiet) and Mad Dog (amnesia problems) all were among the many other DOIs.

The on-in meal took place at the Gianniotiki Gonhorrea, a fine taverna (well, they didn't throw us out) where the jokes continued, the retsina flowed and plenty of food was enjoyed. It was nearly 5 o'clock when the weary, pissed and satisfied hashers finally wandered home.

ON ON!!