Written by our Master of Music… Fair Cop

Note: The underlined links download & run the corresponding tune for the libretto in MIDI format (where possible) as these are the smallest (and therefore fastest) files to download.

(i.e. Double-click the link to hear the tune! You'll have to wait 'till one tune ends before playing the next).

For the Annual AH3 Red Dress Run (1464) in Glyfada

To the tune "Entrance of the Gladiators (MIDI)"

Running through the back streets of Glyfada
Don't think I could have run too much farther
No case for laughing,
My stockings were chaffing
But running in stilettoes would've been a lot harder.

Coming here today was a little bit chancy
Thought that I'd look like a total Nancy
But everyone impresses
in their red dresses
I'll even admit that there's one or two I'd fancy

Even though I'm really all strong and manly
It's fun dressing-up like a dodgy tranny
So I'm off to the pub
for a drink and some grub
'Cos I reckon that I'm going to score!

For AH3 Run 1461 in Kouvaras (and Taverna in Kalivia)
About teasing the Hare over the confusion of the run location & the heavy rain
(22nd January 2006)

To the tune of "That's Amore"

"When your clothes are all wet, You're as cold as you get, That's Kalyvia!
When your nose is bright red while the rest stay in bed, That's Kalyvia!
If you say that you run 'cos you think that it's fun, who'd believe ya?
So instead of standing here, let's f*ck off for a beer in Kalyvia!"


Athens Hashers - where were you?
(27th November 2005)

To the tune:   " Where did you get to? (MIDI)"

So where did you get to, you hashers
Who went to Saint Andrews Ball?
We expected a crowd on Pendeli,
But it turned out that we got Fuck All
(to run the hash, and do the walk).

And where did you get to you Hashers
Who went to the "Black 'n' White" do?
We were able to run up that mountain,
If we could then you could have too
(you stayed in bed, you lazy twats).

You should all follow Shiva's example:
She showed us how hashing is done.
Pissed Mortal at four in the morning,
And up the next day for a run.

Athens Hash Hymn
(13th November 2005)

To the tune:   "He who would valiant be (MP3)"   ( or    "He who would valiant be (WMA)"   )

We who would hashers be,

Have this intention:

To avoid sobriety

And shun dissention.

We'll follow high & low,

Wherever the hare may go,

And then, the beer will flow.

We're Athens Hashers.

To celebrate Fiery Tw*t's run in Markopolou
(23rd October 2005)

To the tune of "Sweet Betsy from Pike (MIDI)"

This week in Markopolou we met for a run,

With hares, Men-in-Gitis and Fiery (his Mum).

The Rain-clouds had parted and out came the Sun,

I hadn't a clue about what was to come.


There were boulders and horse shit and rocks everywhere

and regular cries of "Let's all Eff the hare"

When I got to the shortcut, I should have took that,

'Cos now I know why she's called fiery TWAT!

For the R.A or other deviants offending in the circle?
(October 2005)

To the tune of "Blaydon Races (MIDI)"

He’s an arse who isn’t fit to piss on.

He’s known to be a pervert who abuses his position.

He propositions harriettes.

He’s shown us he’s a flasher

But these are just the qualities

We look for in a hasher.

Alcohol related offences

Adapted from "The Grenadiers Song (MIDI)", amongst others.

Some die of drinking water,

And some of drinking beer,

Some die of constipation,

And some of diahorrhea.

But of all the world's diseases,

There's none that can compare,

With the ghostly shiver of the pickled liver

Of a Hash-House Harrier

Shit of the week?

Adapted from a "Royal Marines (MIDI)" anthem,

He has a certain reputation

For molesting little boys

For abusing old age pensioners

And for stealing kiddies toys

They say he stole the church collection

And that he pisses in the tea,

And for all these misdemeanours

There’s a punishment decreed…

..drink it down,down…

For Latecomers or possibly shortcutters

From "Mull of Kintyre (MIDI)" (with apologies to Sir Paul McCartney)

Far have we travelled and much have we seen,

We hashed over mountains and valleys of green.

We ran all the falsies. We followed the scent,

Except for these bastards ‘cos they never went.