Athens HHH - Songs & Rituals

Athens Hash House Harriers

Selected Hash Songs & Rituals

Borrowed from THE HALF-MIND HYMNAL - A SONGBOOK FOR HASH HOUSE HARRIERS (Compiled by Paul "Flying Booger" Woodford) and adapted for the Athens Hash.

Many of the melodies can be found at:
-Digital Tradition Mirror site at <http://sniff.numachi.com/~rickheit/dtrad/>.
-Main Digital Tradition site at <http://www.mudcat.org/>
-Zippy's on-line songbook at <http://harrier.net/songs/index.html>.

Down-Down Ditties & Hash Rituals

BLESSING OF "G" (Gispert)
Optional prayer offered by the religious advisor before the hash. Should be performed in the style of a Catholic/Episcopal dismissal

RA: The -buzz- which passes all understanding, (or -thrill-)
Keep your hearts and minds in the knowledge and love of hashing,
And the Blessing of "G" all plastered:
The Flour (make first slash of "X" in the air)
The Sun (complete the "X" in the air)
And the Short Cut that pays off (make circle around "X" in the air)
Be among you and remain with you always.
Go Forth to Love and Serve the Hash.

Pack: Thanks be to "G!"

BLESSING OF THE HARES
Optional prayer offered by the religious advisor before the hash, with local embellishments.

Bless these hares,
Bless this trail,
Coppus no catch us,
Farmer no shoot us,
Doggus no bite us,
Heatus no stroke us,
Plenty of cold beer to drink,
Coitus non interruptus.

HASH BENEDICTION

Gispert guide us on this hash,
As along the trail we dash,
Guide our feet on rocks and snow,
As to the drink stop we will go,
Let the sun so brightly shine,
Leading us to beer so fine.

NAMING CEREMONY

RA: Prostrate yourself before your fellow hashers.
(Hasher kneels or lies prostrate on the ground in accordance with local custom, with assistance from mismanagement as necessary)
RA: Before you are initiated into the fold and bestowed the holy Hash Name, what have you to say for yourself.
Hasher: I'm not worthy.
RA: (reads verses)
1. In the beginning was the Hash, and the Hash was with Beer and the Hash was Beer.
2. The same was in the beginning with Gispert.
3. The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Hash, that all men through him might believe.
4. And when he was baptized, went straight up and received the Down-Down.
5. And lo a voice from heaven, saying, this is my beloved hasher in whom I am well pleased.
6. Not by the works of righteousness we have done, but according to the mercy of the Pack are you saved, by washing of regeneration, and renewing of the holy Thirst.
7. Therefore if any person be in the Hash, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things become new.
8. Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed as a competitor, but alive as a member of the Pack, to boldly go forth on the trail and pursue the Holy Hash Beer.
(RA grasps the bag of flour and sprinkles it on the Hasher)
RA: I baptize you in the name of Gispert and all other great hashers who came before you.
(RA sprinkles beer on the Hasher)
RA: Your friends have gotten together and chosen your name and you will hereafter be known as ____________.
(As local tradition dictates, the rest of the pack may be issued flour and beer to further 'baptize' the hasher)
RA: Rise and cleanse thy soul.
(The hasher is handed a beer and does a down-down in accordance with the traditions of the hash)

WEDDING CEREMONY

1. Dearly intoxicated, we are gathered here in the presence of the Pack to join this hasher and this harriette in holy mattress monkey.

2. Attesting to their dreary and lonely lives, they have now resolved to end each future hash by going home and getting lucky every time without need for self-gratification or technology.

3. We come to celebrate the end of their wanking ways and to cheer in the joy of sex outside masturbation.

4. (insert hasher's name), do you take this harriette for better or for worse, on the rag and in health, on bad hair days and good, to have and to hash with until death do you part?

(Hasher answers) "I do"

5. (insert harriette's name), do you take this hasher for better or for worse, in vomit and in shiggy, with his farts and his smell, to have and to hash with until death do you part?

(Harriette answers) "I do"

6. Please raise your beers and repeat after me. With this beer, I thee wed.

(Both) "With this beer, I thee wed."

(RA leads pack in a down-down song of his choosing or local tradition and the bride and groom drink at the appropriate time, after which . . .)

7. I now pronounce you hasher and harriette, doomed to spend the rest of your lives running the hash together. May you go forth and multiply, bearing many new little horrors to fill our trails.

8. You may now moon the pack.

(The pack showers them with beer as local tradition dictates.)

HASHER'S PRAYER

God bless Gispert, hallowed be his name. His hash be laid on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily Beer. And forgive us our Ah-Shits, as we also forgive those who pissed us off. And lead us not unto temptation to Short-Cut; but deliver us to the On-In. For the beer is cold, and the Pack is thirsty for ever and ever, Amen.

OUR LAGER
Prayer

Our Lager
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk,
I will be drunk,
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the Beer, The Bitter, and the Lager,
Barmen.

VISITORS
SONGMASTER:
There's no need to fear!

PACK:
We've got lots of beer!

WE'VE GOT VIRGINS
Melody - Frere Jacques

We've got virgins,
We've got virgins,
At our hash,
At our hash,
Gonna get'em drunked up,
Gonna get'em drunked up,
Down the hatch,
Down the hatch,

So drink it down, down, down . . .

VIRGIN SERENADE
Melody - Ball of Ballyknure

Four and twenty (or however many there are) virgins,
Came out to this old hash,
And when the hash was over,
There were four and twenty less.

CHORUS:
Singing, balls to your partner,
Arse against the wall.
If ye canna get laid at this old hash
Ye'll never get laid at all.

The other virgin SHE was there,
Givin' us all a great view,
While dancing on the table,
She said she'd do the crew.

This other virgin HE was there,
Getting drunk as he could be,
And by the time the circle broke up,
He'd pissed a gallon of pee.

SHIGGY SHAGGY

The purpose of the Shiggy shaggy chant is to point out breaches in circle etiquette - members of the circle surround the offender and repeat chant loudly:

Shiggy shaggy, shiggy shaggy,
Oi, Oi, Oi!

. . . and so on until offender completes a down.

BIRTHDAY SONGS

BIRTHDAY SONG # 1
Melody - Happy Birthday to You

Happy birthday, fuck you,
Happy birthday, fuck you,
Happy birthday, you asshole, (or dear ......... )
Happy birthday, fuck you.
Drink it down, down, down . . .
______

BIRTHDAY SONG # 2
Melody - Happy Birthday to You

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
You look like a hasher,
And you smell like one too.
Drink it down, down, down . . .
______

BIRTHDAY SONG # 3
Melody - Here's to _____, He's a Blue

Here's to (name), she's true blue,
It's her birthday, boo hoo hoo,
She is (age) if she's a day,
Wishes she were younger,
But there's no way!
Drink it down, down, down . . .
______

BIRTHDAY SONG # 4
Melody - Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom-Te-Aay

This is your birthday song,
It isn't very long . . .

Drink it down, down, down . . .
______

WHY ARE WE WAITING?
Melody - Come Let Us Adore Him

Why are we waiting,
Could be fornicating (masturbating, etc),
Oh, why are we waiting,
So fucking long, etc . . .

WHY WAS HE BORN SO BEAUTIFUL?
Melody - Itself

Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He's no fuckin' use to anyone, (bloody)
He's no bloody use at all.

HER LEFT TIT
Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean

Her left tit hangs down to her belly,
Her right tit hangs down to her knee.
If her left tit did equal her right tit,
She'd get lots of weenie from me.
Drink it down, down, down . . .

HERE'S TO ________ (BASIC DOWN-DOWN SONG)
Melody - Itself

VERSION # 1
Here's to ,
He's so blue (he's true blue) (he's a blue)
He's a Hasher,
Through and through,
He's a wanker (he's a pisspot) (he's an asshole)
So they say,
He'll never get to heaven (Tried to go to heaven,)
In a long, long way (But he went the other way)
So drink it down, down, down . . .
______

VERSION # 2
Here's to ,
She's a damn fine gal,
Here's to ,
She's a damn fine gal,
So drink, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug,
chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug,
Here's to ,
She's a horse's ass.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, etc . . .

INTERNATIONAL HASH HYMN
Melody - Swing Low, Sweet Chariot
Note: gestures accompany words

I looked over Jordan and what did I see,
Coming for to carry me home,
A band of angels coming after me,
Coming for to carry me home.

CHORUS:
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home,
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home.

I'm sometimes up and sometimes down,
Comin' for to carry me home,
But still my soul feels heavenly bound.
Comin' for to carry me home.

If you get there before I do,
Coming for to carry me home,
Tell all my friends that I'm coming too,
Coming for to carry me home.
(repeat with variations: humming and motions only, silence and motions only, double-time)

HIS ONE-SKIN
Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean

His one skin hangs down to his two skin,
His two skin hangs down to his three,
His three skin hangs down to his foreskin,
His foreskin hangs down to his knee.
Drink it down, down, down . . .

THANK GOD SHE FINALLY SHUT UP
Melody - Looney Tunes Theme
An excellent down-down song for harriettes

Thank God she finally shut up,
She's always fuckin' bitchin',
Now drink your beer, get out of here,
Get back into the kitchen!

THEY OUGHT TO BE PUBLICLY PISSED ON
Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean

They ought to be publicly pissed on,
They ought to be publicly shot,
They ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot,
Drink it down, down, down . . .

THIS IS YOUR DOWN-DOWN SONG
Melody - Ta-Rah-Rah-Boom Te-Ay

This is your Down-Down song,
It isn't very long. . . .

MISTER BLUE BALLS
Melody - Zip-a-dee-do-dah
(a good song for calling the hares to the ice)

Zip-a-dee-do-dah, zip-a-dee-day,
My oh my, what a miserable lay.
Haring is great but, beerings the best,
Time for your down-down, put the ice on the chest.

Slap your ass cheeks 'round that ice hole, it's a fact, it's irrefutable, it's cold right on your pubicals.

Zip-a-dee-do-dah, zip-a-dee-day,
Down-downs are better than your miserable lay.

Mr. Blue Balls formed an icicle
He's all cold and furry too, better find something to screw

Oh zip-a-dee-do-dah, zip-a-dee-day,
Hope you like ice, 'cause that's where you'll stay.

HASH HOUSE HARRIERS
Melody - Addams Family Theme

Their drinking is compulsive
Their running is convulsive,
They're morally repulsive,
The Hash House Harriers.

CHORUS:
Da da da da (snap fingers twice)
Da da da da (snap fingers twice)
Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da

Their flatulence is rude and
Their genitals protrude when
They're running in the nude in
The Hash House Harriers.

They're always shiggy tracking
From constantly bush-whacking,
Intelligence they're lacking,
The Hash House Harriers.

Da da da da, Down Down, etc . . .

SHIGGY SOGGY
Melody - Zicky Zacky

Shiggy Soggy,
Shiggy Soggy,
ON-ON-ON!

Drink it down, down, down . . .

HASHIN' BREW
Melody - That Good Old Mountain Dew

They call it that good ole' hashin' brew, brew, brew,
And them that refuse it are few,
You'll hush up yur mug,
When you down-down yur jug,
Of that good ole' hashin' brew.

Chug it down, down, down . . .

HE'S A HASHER, HE'S OKAY
Melody - Lumberjack Song (Monty Python)

He's a hasher, he's okay,
Works all day, comes out to play,
Drinks it down without complaint,
Or he wears it well.
Drink it!
Wear it!
Drink it!
Wear it!
etc . . .

MEET THE HASHERS
Melody - Flintstones Theme

Hashers, meet the hashers,
They're the biggest drunks in history,
From Athens, lovely Athens (Las Vegas, N-V )(or your favorite town),
They're the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers,
Down down, down down down down,
Down down down down down down down down down,
Down down, down down down down,
Down down down down down down down down down.

Hash Anthems

Melody - Choral Stanza, Beethoven's 9th Symphony

Come Athens Hash House Harriers,
Get your asses in high gear,
Whiners, walkers, F-R-B-ers,
Gather 'round these mugs of beer.

Let the hashing spirit enter,
Ev'ry wanker here around,
Down-downs right and left and center
As we hashers chug 'em down.