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A Review of the Year by your JM Mad Dog

Well, it's been another good, active year for the Athens Hash, both for hashes and for social activities. We've hashed almost everywhere around Athens from the three surrounding mountains Pendeli, Parnitha, and Immitos to the northern and southern beaches of Schinias, Rafina, Varkiza, and Glyfada. We've run in the parks of Syngrou, Galatsi, and Tatoi and around Marathon Lake. We have desecrated the historic areas in central Athens including the Acropolis, Filopappou, Likavitos and the Marble Stadium and frightened the life out of the tourists & shopkeepers in Plaka and Monastiraki. And we have trampled the northern & southern suburbs, leaving countless barking dogs and startled residents in our wake. There's hardly anywhere in Athens that remains untouched by our coloured flour trails. Some highlights included our Red Dress Run (where we left many a local with an open mouth) & enjoyed a great party at the Ploughman's Pub afterwards, the Athens Marathon (where some of us unintentionally got awarded medals & certificates). And then there was our Terrorist Run in Syngrou Park incorporating pitched battles between two teams using flour bombs, water bombs, and explosive poppers, etc. (we somehow managed to avoid getting arrested for disturbing the peace).

The Island Weekends were also a great success, firstly with Aegina (24-26th May 2002) where we had a number of visiting hashers (& the AGPU), then Poros (20-22 Sept 2002) where we stayed in a 5-Star hotel and held the circles and a BBQ on the hotel beach. And of course our latest in Agistri (9-11th May, 2003) celebrating our Silver Jubilee Year - where we had over 80 hashers including about 25 from overseas (many of whom have e-mailed us wanting to come back for the next island event).

And on the social side, we have visited Mike's bar on a number of memorable occasions, held Curry Nights and a fair number of parties, had an Ice Skating evening (amazingly, no injury's), organized tables at the Saint Andrew's night & the Chieftains Night (and changed Scottish dancing forever!). Another success was out annual Wine Bottling party (part of the fun for me was touring the wineries and sampling the many different wines - not that I can recall much of that!).

The above are just some of the events that your mis-management committee has organized or helped organize throughout the year 2002-2003 and I'm sure they deserve our thanks for all their hard work.

Strawberry Foreskin's Annual Report 2003

Our Annus Mirabilis*

You'd have to be a twisted bitch not to have enjoyed this midnight screamer of a year of hashing. I'll have (had) some of that on Poros, followed by triple sex later in the year on Agistri (and some of that was doggie style?).

Some of us this year have blown dwarves, been down-hill porn skiing (according to snowjob.com) and in conjunction with our spawn (TCMH3 - now in its 4th year) we have seen two moons rising just as we reached our smorgasm (she had a deep, throaty, laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up). There was hot and cold pussy everywhere and cox and balls for the ladies.

Our doctor of dildo's had a wet dream of horny blowing who had returned to rim job the hash but found flaky bits on everything.

Was it true that the new beer caused men-in-gitis? And was sleazy rider incoming to tavernas where hungary puszi ate everything in sight? Is it true she spat out the boney m's but enjoyed a nice chocolate (foreskin) for dessert.

Frequently too much FAXE sometime made us urinator and while the loud horny behaviour gave us earache, the excess of food caused us growing pains. Sadly Immac finally f*ck ed off.

We welcome the newly named this year who luxuriate in their monikas (if only we all could?). If you are Currently Un-Named Today, despair not - your turn will come as we hand-over to a new (or at least partially refreshed) mis-management which will try to satisfy all your appetites.

I wouldn't have missed it - not even for a chip butty.

On on
Strawberry Foreskin

THE RELIGIOUS ADVISOR’S REPORT TO THE

HONORABLE AND VENERABLE MEMBERS

SUBMITTED JUNE 2003

As part of my duty, I kept no hash account, sold no obscene t-shirts, refused to help with the ferrying of beer, softies, and Nero.

As part of my duty, I made sure it always rained when we ran, or prayed for the arid Attica land to turn to mud.

As part of my duty, I encouraged the encircled foe to indulge in beer-abuse, animal-abuse, and anything-else-that-moved abuse.

I was heartily given to kicking dogs, cutting off the tails of cats, and scooting kids away from the beer stock.

For your DIO’s I always encouraged the pourers to keep the mugs dirty, let gnats dive-bomb in if they wished, and to keep the beer too cold to down-in-one.

Ah, as for the sex! I forced hashers with mean and hungry looks to grab, force, assault, penetrate, break the non-rule of no-sex-on-the-hash. And in this category I had the most visible success, for they listened to my smooth, trusty voice, and got hooked up!

As examples of sex-and-slave coupling, I need remind you of only two that quickly come to mind: ALL HEAD AND NO SHAFT was so enamored of HUNGRY PUSZY that he lost his head and she ran away with his shaft. … And there was SEMEN STAINES, who got so tired of making waves alone, that he got off by ensnaring BULLY OFF.

[And those of you who think you are undetected, don’t think I don’t know what you’ve been up to. IF THE SHADOW KNOWS, THE R A KNOWS EVEN BETTER! I know who is bedding whom, because I am curious, I mind your business, and I get a perverse kick out of it]

Why would I act otherwise? You think I like to work, to be busy with you lot?? Think again. I’m your lazy, no-good, nookie-lovin’, non-god fearing, shit-wanker-whinger-R bloody A! AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT, EITHER!!

Disrespectfully submitted.

PLAYBOY 2, Religious Advisor, Athens Hash House Harriers.

AH3 - End of Year Accounts (12.05.03)

........Runs 1263 to 1315

Statement prepared by Hash Cash: Camel Toe


Received Paid Balance Sub Total
Total
Accounts (prior to 01.06.02)

Balance b/f (31.05.02) 578.00
Additional receipts due from Aegina Island W/E 382.00
960.00

Accounts (01.06.02 - 12.05.03)

Runs (1263 to 1315) 5646.00 5046.18 599.82
T Shirts 1465.00 1966.00 -501.00
Poros Island W/E 2251.00 2215.00 36.00
Wine Bottling 485.00 497.00 -12.00
Angistri Island W/E 6996.00 7091.00 -95.00

Sundries (misc Revenue less misc Expenses) 1974.70 1715.25 259.45
287.27

Total Bank & Cash (12.05.03) 1247.27

{last year 960.00}
Assets

Stock of T Shirts (Cost Price) 1342.00
Wine (26 bottles sweet red @  3.50) 91.00
1433.00
Total Assets (30.11.02) 1433.00
{last year }

GRAND TOTAL: 2680.27

Notes:

AGISTRI:  210 outstanding due to unpaid fees (accident Thunder Thighs) not shown..

Runs: Surplus  599.82 mostly due to subsidised FAXE beer.